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Ever been in a situation where you’re watching something that you feel uncomfortable watching? You feel awkward and slightly embarrassed. Kind of like the “nerd” trying blatantly hard to be the “cool” kid doing or saying things that just do not fit that persons characteristics. Or the older man, trying so hard to live like he was in college, trying to rekindle his glory years of the partying and the drinking. Well that’s how I felt. An unequivocal, all-consuming, uncomfortably watching this movie.

I can understand the appeal of course. Eye candy galore for guys and girls (although I reallllllly don’t know what people see in Robert Pattinson), vampires and werewolves (which will forever be cool no matter what the story is about), love stories and action. Yet all these things that I’m sure appeal to the masses, were the same things more or less that turned me off.

I could do without seeing Robert Pattinson. He’s like a second-rate Christian Slater, back when he was a teenage heart-throb. And that’s not a good thing. There must have been somebody else they could have got to play the lead role of Edward Cullen. ANYBODY. I can’t think of somebody but I will I promise you.

The lore of vampire and werewolf was the main thing that kept me going through this movie, but I feel the Twilight story is straying too far away from what makes the allure and mythos of vampires and werewolves really work. For one thing, I need my vampires to burn in sunlight. In ANY kind of sunlight. Day and night it doesn’t matter. They’re not supposed to shine like they’re angels. But I understand the premise of the movie wouldn’t work because of this, but that must makes it worse, the fact they built this story under a false crutch that vampires can live in sunlight. You’re not supposed to WANT to become a vampire yet in this movie you can’t help but envy their lifestyle. (Spoiler Alert, at least for those who haven’t read the book) Especially one vampire loving individual in the movie who has this ever lasting vampire fixation. One of the vampires tries to convince her that it’s not worth becoming like her, but again, when you can live in sunlight AND survive without drinking human blood…ummm where’s the downside? This was driven home when one of the vampires flew a plane across the world…nuff said…I don’t have a lot of negative things to say about the werewolves as they were nicely done except, again I didn’t like the fact they could change to their wolf forms whenever they wanted to. But again, the story would not work if this wasn’t the case.

The love story behind this was too much. There’s really not much more to say than that. It was way too much. I couldn’t really get past he fact that Bella Swan, played by Kristen Stewart, was a teenager and was just feeling what every teenager wanted to feel: a sense of belonging somewhere. This made the whole love story aspect inadequate and irrelevant for me. I also couldn’t help but feel this movie was sending a wrong message of encouraging confused teens to always seek out the “bad boy/girl” and ignore the fact that there are the down-to-earth nice people out there that would be much better. I could have done without at least half of the love story they put out in this movie.

The acting really was what it was for a movie like this and you can’t ask for much more. Kristen Stewart was okay and did a good job of carrying the movie, for what it was worth. Unfortunately, most of her scenes involved the love story aspect which I really did not like so as such I did not like watching her. As I said before I really could have done without Robert Pattinson (I’m still trying to figure out who could have fit his role better than him in this series). Taylor Lautner, who played Jacob Black, really has a long way to go from his days as a karate black belt young prodigy, but he did show promise. Although that wig was NOT working for me and was relieved when they “cut” it off later in the movie. Really the only person who got my full attention, when she was in the movie all of 5 minutes, was Anna Kendrick who was playing Jessica, Bella’s good friend. Her quick-witted dry sense of humour did a great job of lightning the movie and actually, whether it was intentional or not, made a mockery of Bella’s “oh I’m so alone and no one understands me” attitude. I loved it.

The action sequences, while they were few and far between, were great and I can only hope when the third installment come out on DVD (yes I’m already saying I will not be spending the money to watch Eclipse in theatres), It’s far more action packed than the previous two.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I was a huge Buffy/Angel fan back in the days and I feel those series were the prototypes for a successful teen-aged vampire story, but this Twilight just doesn’t cut it for me.

-Vic De Zen

Matt Lanter?…maybe…

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